UBian Blues: Life of a UBian, by a UBian

When you make a mistake it’s wrong, when teacher does it’s bonus
Let’s face it, there’s nothing you can do when you forget to read the instructions or to even write your name during exams or quizzes. Rules are rules after all; one mistake decides what your future is gonna look like. So I suggest, be vigilant. Train your guts to always write your name. Who knows, you may get a point for it. Also, be vigilant if you find a mistake by your professors, points din yan.

Ang periodical section sa library gihimo nang tun-anan, mao nang kalingaw puno
So here’s the thing; when I was a freshman, I usually go to the periodical section to read magazines and newspapers. Guess what? I can’t even get a seat there because people bring their homeworks and turn the periodical section into a study area. I don’t know if that’s legal or not, but it lost its purpose. Whilst the main library where there are plenty of chairs and tables, became a hangout area for squads and lovers. Was it because the aircon is cooler at the periodical section? Perhaps. The periodical section feels like a sardine-can when there are many people, naa pay mag-chika-chika, definitely not a good place to read.

Pasumangil tan-aw sa blackboard wa diay to kasabot
When you’re extremely exhausted and struggle to keep your eyes open during a class discussion. You pretend to understand the lesson and nod your head every time your professor takes a peek at you. That’s the least you could do for your professor, ikaw kunoy magtindog magsturya unya balewalaon raka. Plus, it turns professors off when they see someone not paying attention.

Don’t study, finance your cheating sources so they can study properly
Regular cheating is so two-years-ago, and because some UBians are so smart, they devised a new system that makes them go through college without learning anything. When you’re at your freshman years, you can immediately identify who among your batchmates are good at what they call “studying”. Of course, that’s why there are no bullies here in UB. They befriend the nerds and treat them well, and in exchange, those nerds become their source during exams or quizzes. Win-win situation.

Lovers be like; dark rooms at ST Building no more babe
Finally, the ancient ST building got renovated. It’s generally a good thing, but not to the lovers who intends to do their sweet dirty moves at the rooms there. The rooms are well-lit (at least when you turn the lights on). Sometimes I think there weren’t any ghosts there like what others say, there were something more insidious haunting the ST halls before it got renovated.

Clash of Clans and Mobile Legends are for noob kids, DOTA 2 is for adults
Some kids proudly call themselves “gamers” for playing COC, Mobile Legends, Pokemon Go, Flappy bird, you name it. But a true gamer is a DOTA gamer. That sounded like a little bit of discrimination. But that my friend, is a warning. You don’t dare align yourself with the gold-blooded, respawning, nut-cracking, demigods. Mortals don’t belong in the arena, you’ll instantly get killed by creeps.

F*ckboy is what jealous kids call people with good sense of fashion
The first time I heard about that term, I was confused. The word f*ck means different to English slang. F*ckboy, according to some, are male flirts who would lie, cheat, and hurt girl’s feelings. But why do people identify such person by how they dress? I mean, what’s the point? Let me give you a little eye-opener; you cannot identify a flirt person by how they dress. Even rapists come in different shapes; they could be drunkards in the street or a wealthy executive. However, a fashionable person attracts the most attention, which makes them susceptible to praise and discrimination, pity.

I would give anything, just accept my FR
Stalkers are like spies, but what makes them more effective in spying is that they do it passionately, especially when it comes to their crush. In old times, when you see someone and find them attractive, you go straight to them and talk. But today, it only takes a bit of intuition and guts just to know their name and immediately proceed with search-and-add operation, simple as that. Then you can proceed to the chat-and-introduce-yourself operation. Pilyo turns playboy, pilya turns biatch. But if your crush doesn’t hit back the buttons, then you’re in for a big dump. Move on nalang, wa tay mahimo ana bes.

Millenials are long thought to be the future of the world, for there comes a time when the people who run the world runs out of time, and it is up to us to follow their footsteps. We may even think that what we are doing gives our elders shame, but it’s part of growing up. Being young is blissful; you wish you could stay young forever. But as we grow, we realize that youth is just a small beginning to the vastness of what we can achieve in the future. As a wise mentor once said; “Make as much mistakes and crazy things as you can, then learn from it. If there are no mistakes left to make, only then you can grow to be a responsible citizen of this country.”

-John Walter Calipes

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